What's Left Unsaid

by Therese
(Australia)

George died 7 months ago. He was my husband for 38 years, but my ex-husband for 4 months (not my choice). He fell 50 ft down a mountain side whilst on a visit to India and became quadriplegic, dying of complications 8 weeks after the accident. I was able to fly to India to be with him for the last 5 weeks of his life and to bring his body back. I didn’t expect him to die. He wasn’t able to speak because of the tracheotomy and breathing difficulties and so we weren’t able to communicate fully – there were so many things left unsaid; things I desperately wanted to talk about but felt I should wait until he was out of danger. By means of an alphabet system he told me he loved me and was sorry for the hurt he caused. I told him that I had never stopped loving him and was able to fulfill his request to see a priest a few days before he died(Deo Gratias). We were reconciling when he died and now I feel that I lost him twice. Grief still overwhelms me.