Six deaths in 9 months, and another imminent

by Tricia
(Arlington, Texas)

On June 28, 2012 an old work friend of mine committed suicide. Ten days later my father died; eight days after that, another friend died. Three months later two uncles died within eight days of each other. Six months after that yet another friend died.
Two days ago I learned a friend of mine was admitted into hospice care.
Even though a couple of the deaths were expected, others weren’t, and they all still hurt. I’m bored with being sad, but I just can’t seem to move beyond it, and when death seems to keep coming at me, I wonder if I ever will be able to. It seems like just when life is starting to even out, I lose someone else. I find myself wondering if I could finally work through this, if no one died for a while, but of course, I haven't really had that chance.
I know none of the people I lost would want me to give up my life to grief, but every time I think about trying to have fun, my inside sort of freeze up, and I just can’t do it.