One quick instant

by Debra
(Cleveland, OH )

My son who was 48 years old died on a beautiful sunny Sunday, July 2, 2017, stateside. The family temporarily living in Japan when I got the call he was gone. He never woke up that Monday morning Japan time. They rushed him to the hospital they were unable to revive him. He died had a cardiac arrest. His loving heart stop. The only health issue was found was he had an enlarged heart. My son did a large loving and giving heart. He left behind two children and his wife. I still don't understand why he was gone. He was a twin so thankful I still have his twin brother. I also have a daughter. It is very hard for the family we are so very close. When you one of your children is taken from you. It makes you realize how life can turn on a dime. My life now is in the latter years I am retired with more time to spend with family. Now my family is not the same. I still have a great deal of faith. But I have a new realization of how we need to take each day at a time. The future may not look the way we want it to look with the people we expect to be there. We only have each other at this very moment. I still cry most days and less on others. My heart feels broken but I know my grief is a process. I know I need to take care of myself my son would want me to be happy more than sad. I can see his smiling face all the time. I know we will meet again. But in the meantime, I know I will make it through with the help of God and family and well as friends. Nobody understands how this loss feels unless you lose a child. This loss is different I lost my parents and grandparents. Believe me, this is different. I will heal but I do not think I will ever be the same. All the never's come to mind we never spend any holidays together, we never talk on the phone and much more. But my new self-has a greater understanding of how your entire life can change in one moment until we meet again my son.