I am sending this prayer request out into the universe hoping that I can somehow begin to affect change, positive change, in what has been happening over the past 9 months since he left to pursue a career advancement many miles away. The plan was only 9 months, and now we are going on 10. He used to hope and plan to come back when he was done, but has become so in love with this new opportunity in his field, he has vocally admitted to many, and finally myself that he does not plan on returning.
We had plans, plans he put down the groundwork for, plans I embraced and cherished and looked forward to, such as marriage, eventual family and growing as a team in not just our relationship but as a solid couple who have a wonderful friendship base aside from all the rest. He was my best friend, vice versa, and we both were the only two that got one another, it was a perfect combination, he was, as I was, soul mates.
Over the months, even though we have seen each other on several occasions, the distance was too hard for me and I would lash out, I have never felt so alone since his leaving, as if a piece of me had died. No matter how hard I tried to stay focused on his return, the days dragged on to week and months. My anger would seep out in little ways, as did his, but in the end, the communication lines he never kept open, nor did he realize just how difficult this long distance thing was to me.
Dear God, I pray that you can help me and him find that balance again. That you can give him time away from the stress to realize what he is doing, and to focus on us again, and realize what he is losing by treating me this way. Help him realize that my lashing out was a defense mechanism, and if he took the time to talk to me more than once a day for a few moments he would know this. Help him realize the importance of friends and family, and to stop avoiding everyone over his own ego.
God, please bring the love of my life and I back together. It has taken many years to find one another, and after being together for so many more to loose him now, to lose us now would be a tragedy in our lifetimes. Dear God give me the strength to be strong and realize my own qualities, that I can get through each day and be strong, and show me the way to move on through my daily tasks with ease. Help me breath again.
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Administrator Response:
I'm so sorry for this tremendous relationship loss you are living with and praying to recover. My prayers are with you that you will find peace and hope in the midst of the uncertainty.
I don't know you, but for some reason as I read your request I thought of my own journey using photography to bring myself to a place of centered hope. Perhaps you would find the process helpful.
At any rate, I can't offer easy answers, but my thoughts and prayers are with you today.
Janelle
Relationship Resource:
I've had many people share relationship and marriage prayer requests on this site. I'm happy to have them share. Relationship break ups and painful places in marriages contain a good deal of grief.
One thing that I've reflected on though, with these requests is a hope of a renewed relationship. As most of the resources on this site refer to grief after the death of a loved one, I couldn't point people to resources that might be helpful in strengthening a marriage or healing a break up.
Today I received an email telling me about a relationship restoration ebook that comes with rave reviews. As it relates to this request. I thought I would leave a link to it. In case you would be interested in looking into it.
Click for more info on the book
by KISHORE RAMDATH
(trinidad)
i want you to pray for my girl friend parents to accept me........she was marry before and was hurt by her ex husband.......her ex was a musician and because i am a musician in a top band its hard for her parents to accept me. but i know in my heart i am not a typical band boy ..........i am descent and always want to live a descent life.......her name is natasha ramdeen and my name is kishore.......thank u
Father,
I miss him every day. Please help me submit to your will. Let me learn how to live alone again, knowing it will be the rest of my life. Jesus comfort me when the sadness and loneliness almost bring me to my knees. Let me know you will dry my tears when I get to heaven, and every time I think of him with loss and love (which is a lot), just take that love and send it to him to make him happy and comforted.
I will live with the pain Father, just send your comfort when I need it most
Amen
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by Becky
(California)
God, I come to you with this honesty...I am in true anguish, my soul is in distress, my heart is in pieces, please hear my cry for your help.
On September 15, 2011 the best man that ever entered my life was taken from me. My heart is shattered in a million pieces, I'm lost, confused and in pain. The pain is so overwhelming and it follows me everywhere. I just walk around with pain.
My love, Paul was everything to me, my hero, my champion, my best friend. Paul was a genius at fixing things, just a natural talent he had. I depended on him for so many things. But, his companionship,love and how well he knew me is what I miss the most.
I feel like people at work do not understand how painful it is to lose the most important person in my life. Their attitude is, I should be moving forward, "feeling better".
I've decided it's just easier to pretend while I'm at work. I either go to my car at break or as soon as I get off work I cry to release some of the pain so I can breathe. I try not to be bitter at anyone, after all you can't begin to understand the pain and devastation one goes through, until you go through it but sometimes...it's really hard. The questions people ask or the comments they make, even though I try to think they mean well...I gotta wonder.
I love Paul so very much, what do I do with all this love? I have faith in God, that he still has a plan for me. Yet, I can't shake the missing him.
I just don't know how to move on from the sadness and pain of missing him. We were together all the time for 11 years, and now he's suddenly just gone, just not there anymore to talk things over with...how can that be? One day I had someone to love me, someone to share my life with, someone who understood me and now...I don't. I can't wrap my mind around that.
I talk to him in my mind, and he talks back to me. I wonder if I'm losing my mind, then I think maybe it's a gift from God. I don't know what to think.
Surviving is all about I can do right now. I didn't know I could be this unhappy, or that I could cry so much.
I feel the need to pretend with my family as well. People only want to deal with your grief for a short period of time, it makes them uncomfortable. You should be getting back to normal. Be your old self, but that old self is gone along with my beloved. This is who I am, at least for now, but no one wants this me. They want the old me...heck I wouldn't mind the old me either. There is no old me without Paul.
I try to lean into God and it helps me but the anxiety make even that hard.
If you could, please pray that God will give me the strength to make it through this dark time in my life.
My love for Paul will never die, this I know. What I wonder is if the pain and missing him will at least be tolerable, or will I be this silent griever, this pretender for the world, when I feel something else inside of me? That I'm not sure I can live with forever, so who will I become?