Michael

by Lila Blow
(Hertfordshire)

My husband 58 years old died last Thursday 23rd of July after 14 months battle with Pancreatic cancer.We had been together for 27 years .He was my soul mate ,my lover and my best friend.We did"nt have a great social circle because we enjoyed being together and doing our own thing. I had to work and run around to and from the hospital which was a lot towards the end and when he died i was completely exhausted.My first reaction to his death was relief but after a few hours i realised what had just happened and the guilt set in.I cant get his face and his words out of my mind .Its all the time i am thinking and seeing him .I cant stop crying and wished it had been me that had died because this pain is unbearable. Everyone tells me that its just grief and you will get over it in time but what they dont understand is that there will never be another Michael and my future looks very lonely.