For Christy "The If only (guilt)"

by Debbie
(Ohio)

Dear Beautiful Christy. You have no reason to feel guilt.It takes 2 for a relationship. Your Brother loved you and you loved him. Siblings fight because they love. If you could go back in time to the when you would let him in the house after he was kicked out like every night. you would remember the connection you had with him. Love and missing your sibling is intense. Don't let feelings of false guilt take over your grieving process. We are all human. Michael forgave you long ago. He may not have felt hurt by what you did or didn't do. Being guilty of something is when you do something without a conscience. You do it intentionally without regard to the other person. This is not the type of guilt we are talking about, but somehow it gets mixed up with our grief.If you are experiencing guilt for: not being there enough, not calling enough, not reconciling an aspect of your relationship, or any other reason, there are things you can do to help yourself through these feelings.Acceptance. Accept yourself as the human you are. We all misjudge things. Harmony. Free yourself from the conflicts going through your mind. Forgiveness. It is never too late to ask for, or to grant, forgiveness to one another. Keep in mind that love is stronger than anything you may encounter. Love transcends death.Guilt may surface many times during your grief work. No matter what stage it manifests in, work through it. Be easy on yourself. The death of a loved one is not a painless time. Hold onto the joyful memories and treasure them. Your memories are what you can cherish forever.