Everytime I pray to God for help, EVERYTHING gets WORSE


(Florida)

I have been praying to God to help me and my husband for at least a year. First I was on heavy narcotics for severe back pain. I prayed to God to help and He helped me get off of those drugs. But then my husband and I started using powder cocaine.

Then my husband had a perforated ulcer and was in the hospital for almost two weeks. I was so happy (not because he was sick, but because I thought that would stop the madness). After he got home and was able to drive again, he brought crack cocaine home. It has been a nightmare since.

I have not been an angel. I should have said no, but I didn't. The stuff has turned me into someone I don't want to be. I don't steal or prostitute, but I spend money that needs to be payed to bills. But as much as that is true, I still want to do it.

The more that I pray, the worse drugs get ahold of me. I am afraid to pray. I don't know if the Devil is listening and using this. I know that I am responsible for my own actions. I am not trying to blame anyone or anything for my stupid behavior.

I know the difference between right and wrong. But I can't seem to find the strength to stop doing this...and I especially can't find the will to want to stop. I have everything good to live for. Other than my husband and I have not been able to find work in over a year, we have both had surgeries and health issues (before the major drug problems), financial issues, which none of that is an excuse. Maybe if someone else prays for me, God will help. I think He is sick of me and my stupid self.

Comments for Everytime I pray to God for help, EVERYTHING gets WORSE

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Mar 03, 2013
 and now?
by: Anonymous

Did anything get better?
Aug 24, 2011
 Wow
by: Anonymous

Not many of us can really understand what crack cocain addiction is like. God is not tired of you, the enemy knows that once you are free from bondage you will be able to help lead others to freedom who are suffering. In Jesus name, I pray that you will be lead to Angels in human form. People who know God, who have overcome what you are dealing with now, and who can really, really, be there for you. Please take heart, you and your husband are probably going to be brought out of this, and be able to minister to many other people who are suffering, and struggling with crack cocaine addiction. God bless you, and your husband. My heart aches for what you are going through now. Please know you are both love, and valuable worthwhile peolple. God bless.
Jun 16, 2011
 Keep prayong
by: Anonymous

I was searching prayers and came upon your post. 4 years ago I was exactly where yup are now, addicted to the same drug, I feel your pain. I prayed for a long time, outdent think I was praying for the right thing. One day, totally desperate I prayed for Him to show me what to do, that same day my brother called me and asked ifi would go to a rehab, I've been sober since. Keep praying, get help, it's out there. Don't give-up. I'lll pray for you
Jun 11, 2011
 in my prayers
by: Janelle

You are in my prayers this evening.

Know that you are deeply loved by God, and I don't believe God ever gets sick of us. What would happen if you took five minutes morning and evening to quiet your mind and just feel the love of God?

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